All right everyone, what did we learn during Wildcard Weekend? That’s correct, Wildcard Weekend doesn’t matter! This week, we get into the meat of the Playoffs sandwich in a series of match-ups that’ll have you wondering if any of this really matters. In the first divisional matchup, the Falcons — still sore about their disastrous collapse
All right everyone, what did we learn during Wildcard Weekend? That’s correct, Wildcard Weekend doesn’t matter! This week, we get into the meat of the Playoffs sandwich in a series of match-ups that’ll have you wondering if any of this really matters.
In the first divisional matchup, the Falcons — still sore about their disastrous collapse in last year’s Super Bowl — travel to Philadelphia. The Eagles are finally back in the Playoffs after a few years spent trying to reinvent the game of football by ignoring convention, rules, common sense, and the concept of “talent.” That Philly earned a first-round bye one year after fielding a team of Shetland ponies is nothing short of remarkable.
Pick: A moving tribute to the life of Mother Theresa will be booed.
The Titans don’t quite understand how they’re still in this thing and watching the Chiefs stumble around like Sideshow Bob in a field of rakes must have been even more confusing. Worse still, they have to travel to New England only to be completely outsmarted by Bill Belichick, history’s most successful hobo. Tennessee will leave these Playoffs questioning the nature of success and wondering if approaching mediocrity is really worth the punishment-disguised-as-reward.
Pick: Darkness reigns.
And on Sunday the Jaguars will roll into the Steel City, fresh off their spiritually-significant 10-3 win over a Bills team that couldn’t get past the first level of Pac-Man, no matter how many quarters they jammed in there. And the Jaguars already beat the Steelers in a 30-9 stunner during the regular season, so maybe…just maybe…Blake Bortles and crew will catch Pittsburgh with their Terrible Towels down. Our pick is that there is exactly one dude that’s excited about all this:
These are two teams that also faced off in the regular season, but only in the sense that their magically-animated uniforms and helmets took the field in a tremendous display of artful wizardry. This time, specially-colored flamingos with lances strapped to their sides will do battle to determine the victor. The Saints lost the regular season match-up, but might fare better in this waterfowl-based contest. Win or lose, the Vikings still have to stay in Minnesota.
Pick: Sean Payton will be eliminated from So You Think You Can Dance?